Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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