all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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