I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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