He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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