unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
