Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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