You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
