He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
