3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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