We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
