Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
