i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize