Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
