Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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