As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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