He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
