Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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