just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
They have beer where we have blood.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
