Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
this beer tastes like vomit already
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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