my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
