marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
