you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
