big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
