I didn't shave. On purpose
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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