so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
