you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
