he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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