My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
