This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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