I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
