We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
