i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Randomize
