If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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