I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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