I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
