Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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