I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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