"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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