Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
