i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
