yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
