Ketchup is God's man juice
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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