So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
