you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
