True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
