If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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