it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
