I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
