The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
the day after is always just damage control
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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