What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
