my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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