he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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