i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
