Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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