That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
