Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
