No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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